


heart of gold, heart of stone

by OliveYou



Category: PRISTIN (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Action?, Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, F/M, Self-Doubt, Trust, cute picnic dates, dont be fooled, ironic how those two tags are right next to each other, it sounds worse than it is, its all fluff, slight trigger warning for (failed) assassination attempts, soft jihoon, sungyeon's smiles, this fic is fluff dont worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-25 21:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12541996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveYou/pseuds/OliveYou
Summary: Jihoon has secrets. Sungyeon has boundless trust, a heart of gold, and a stubborn streak a mile long.In which "don't get attached" is easier said than done, Jihoon's heart won't listen to his head, and Sungyeon doesn't know when to give up.





	heart of gold, heart of stone

**Author's Note:**

> *crashes through wall* hello hello it is I, your friendly neighborhood lover of pristeen returning with another au, except that this time I actually finished it. *applause*
> 
> warning: if you don't like descriptions of poisoning, you might wanna steer clear, but that's really the only "graphic" part of the fic. I don't think it's that bad? but heads up just in case.
> 
> I'm so done right now, it took SO LONG to fix the formatting grrr >:(

Don't get attached, they said. Just get in there, get the information, and get out, preferably with as litte causalities as possible. The less of a mark left behind, the better. A normal job.

It should've been easy, in hindsight.

You see, Jihoon is an assassin, bound by hard and fast rules like _kill first, ask questions later_ and _information is king_ , ruthless and friendless and very, very fine with that, thank you. Attachments are detrimental to a profession like his; people ask _questions_ and questions need _answers_ and answers are not something Jihoon's prepared to give, ever.

And then he meets Sungyeon. And Sungyeon is everything he is not, trusting and innocent, all wrapped up into a small, cutely-dressed package with a tag that reads, _kill as soon as possible._

Spoiler Alert: It's harder than it sounds. Mostly because Sungyeon is too cute and friendly for her own good—or Jihoon's, for that matter. And that makes killing _difficult_ , to say the least.

Don't get attached, they said.

Easier said than done.

\---

The day he got the job, it was like any other: infiltrate the infamous walls of Pledis Co., steal their most closely-guarded secrets, and kill anybody who gets in the way. Sungyeon, at first glance, doesn't seem to fit the bill; she's quiet, absorbed in her own work, and doesn't pry. Just another unsuspecting co-worker for Jihoon to manipulate, as is his forte.

Unfortunately for her, Pledis Co. is horribly tight with security, and Sungyeon is currently the only employee with access to the info that Jihoon wants, which means one of two things: one, establishing enough trust with the company and Sungyeon, thus giving him the information he needs, or two, threatening and/or killing to get what he wants. Neither is very viable in Jihoon's eyes, but duty calls.

It's not like Jihoon is heartless—he's an assassin, however, and assassins know their stuff. Things like breaking and entering are sloppy; better to keep it as bloodless as possible. Sadly, not every mission is of the get-in, get-out kind.

Right now, he's known for being sneaky, quiet, and handy with a gun. Hopefully, this job will boost him to "clever, with a spotless record and first-rate manipulation technique." He's got it all planned out—and Jihoon is nothing without a plan.

Pledis Co. looms before him, an impermeable fortress of digital security secrets, and Jihoon can't _wait_ to crack it open.

\---

He meets Sungyeon the first day on the job, in with a fake ID and a few favors. She's off in her own world, a screen of code in front of her, when Jihoon taps her shoulder. She spins around, pulling her headphones off.

"Hey, how can I help you?" her face betrays confusion; Jihoon supposes not all of the employees were notified of the new "coworker" joining their division. He introduces himself—Lee Seokmin, new on the job and told to report to you for instructions? She frowns, fingering her headphone cord, and shrugs. Five minutes later, she's showing him around the computer.

He's in the system, quick as a blink. Sungyeon is easy to influence. Jihoon suspects he won't even need two months.

Then, something _unexpected_ happens. Something strange.

"There's a team picnic on Saturday. Will you come?" she asks, and Jihoon opens his mouth to respond—no, obviously, because he's busy, always busy—but something pops into his head and he ends up saying _yes, of course_. Getting to know the others will pan out for him in the long run. He might as well.

 _Then_ he freaks out. That was not part of the plan— _might as well?_ —what's gotten into him? When did his brain decide to stop working properly and voluntarily offer himself up for _social interaction?_ Jihoon is not social! _At all!_

It takes Jihoon a little while, but he calms himself down and decides to wait and see. Waiting has never failed him before; it certainly shouldn't now.

"I'm glad to hear it!"

\---

The picnic is a casual affair, and Jihoon almost laughs at how worried he was. _Almost,_ because he has perfect self-control and he's not going to just laugh whenever the urge strikes him. _Obviously_.

Sungyeon sets out sandwiches and sides while her coworkers introduce themselves: Joshua, Yaebin, Kyungwon, Wonwoo. All are amiable, talkative, _oblivious_ , and Jihoon wills himself to relax. Everything is fine. They don't suspect a thing. He hasn't lost his touch at all.

Kyungwon jokes about her video game obsession, Joshua gives Sungyeon anime recommendations, and Wonwoo and Yaebin hold hands when they think nobody's looking. Jihoon jots down observations in his brain, bits and pieces of information that might come in handy later, plans for gaining the upper hand. He distances himself from the group—far enough to be forgotten, yet close enough to look inconspicuous.

Jihoon has always been good at blending into the background; compared to his other, more _intensive_ missions, he's got this one in the bag. All he needs now is a few days to build up trust, a bit of pleading, and an easy way to finish the job. He's thinking poison, maybe. It doesn't leave fingerprints.

"Which kind of sandwich do you like, Jihoon?" Sungyeon asks, and Jihoon adopts a friendly smile, smoothly transitioning from _possibly planning your death_ to _thank you for inviting me!_

"Whatever you've got is fine by me. I don't really care," he responds, and Sungyeon nods happily. She digs for something in the cooler, produces two cans of soda, and leans in close. Jihoon stiffens the slightest bit before he remembers that Sungyeon is not an assassin and that she's not going to stab him in the back.

 _Then_ she drops the bombshell.

"I saw you were sitting by yourself," she confesses, giving Jihoon a mini heart attack and making him feel strangely touched at the same time. "I hope you're not uncomfortable, or that we're leaving you out somehow."

"O-oh, no!" Jihoon forces a laugh while his mind goes, _she noticed, did she notice me staring?_ Sungyeon's more perceptive than he's given her credit for. Maybe he needs to reconsider his agenda. The nosier you are, the likelier it is you'll end up dead, but Jihoon doesn't want things to get messy. _Especially_ in a place with security like Pledis Co.

"I, was, uh, just lost in thought. I'm... not so great with people." _Careful, Jihoon._ "I'm a bit of a lone wolf, I guess."

Sungyeon pouts, which looks adorable and would probably bring anyone else to their knees, but it only makes Jihoon regret his life choices. He really, really shouldn't've accepted that invite. Sungyeon's going to be following him around like cute but annoying dog, isn't she? This was a _very_ bad idea.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always open," she says quietly, and Jihoon barely suppresses a groan. Yup. Bad idea.

"I'll keep that in mind." _Please leave me alone or you're going to get killed._ "...Thank you."

Sungyeon smiles, exclaiming, "Awesome! I'll see you around!" before getting up to walk away, probably to break up Kyungwon and Yebin's fight over a candy bar.

Once she's _finally_ out of earshot, he exhales, collapsing backward onto the grass. That took way more energy than he was prepared to spend. He wasn't aware that Sungyeon was the "supportive team leader" of the group. Now, he's forced to work _twice_ as hard to keep her happy.

Sadly, Jihoon suspects it will take more than a few words to get Sungyeon off his back, but he's certainly going to try.

 _This isn't over, Sungyeon_ , he vows. _You'd best be careful._

\---

The good about Sungyeon: she trusts everyone 100 percent, even the new guy that hasn't got a clue what he's doing. The bad? She _cares_. Every day, she hands out cookies or brownies, gives out encouraging comments and advice, and Jihoon just wants her to _go away_.

The worst? The rest of the team behaves exactly the same way. Joshua sings bad rap songs at lunch, Kyungwon tries to organize an "game night" with video games and snacks, and even Wonwoo, known for being the _quiet_ one, is perfectly fine with cracking bad jokes over the cubicles walls at Yaebin. Jihoon suffers silently.

 _This will all be over soon_ , he reminds himself. He just needs that information. After that, he can go back to his small, blessedly empty apartment and live out a life of obscurity.

With the occasional assassination. It's still his job, however difficult it may be sometimes. Everyone needs money; he's just got a more _unsavory_ way of making it.

He just needs a little more time.

As it turns out, "a little more time" means '"another week," which then turns into "possibly a month." Jihoon is stumped. He's tried—not everything, but a fair number of things, and _still_ Pledis will not budge. This is driving him mad. He's gotten _nowhere_ , gotten nothing but apologies and rebuttals from everyone he's asked.

In a final act of desperate sacrifice, Jihoon swallows his pride and goes to Sungyeon. He promised he'd stay away from her after the picnic incident, but times have changed. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Sungyeon—depressingly enough—is _way_ easier to influence than the rest of the department.

He's ashamed, really. If this keeps up, nobody will ever hire him again.

Still, Sungyeon asks too many questions, thinks too deeply. She's proved herself to be a competent programmer, observant, and a clever girl besides, but all those things are exactly what Jihoon _doesn't_ hope for in a victim. It makes them harder to kill.

At least she makes up for it with a staggering amount of blind faith in her co-workers. _That_ alone is what Jihoon is counting on to propel him to victory.

"Hey, Sungyeon?" She looks up, slips off those hot pink headphones, and gives him her attention. Jihoon tries to focus.

"I... was looking at ways to streamline the info sheets, but there's a few files missing," he says, lying through his teeth, and Sungyeon believes him. "Then it rejected me, or something... how do I get into database?"

"Oh!" Sungyeon swivels around in her chair. "Yeah, you probably don't have the right code. I can give you mine, if you want to look around." She brushes some hair out of her face, and Jihoon finds himself watching the way it falls, slow and in waves. He clears his throat.

"If that's okay with you..."

"Absolutely. It's nothing! But..." Sungyeon giggles, with sends Jihoon's heart skipping in a way that it shouldn't, not when he's a friendless assassin with a heart of stone. He's so busy trying to shove the sound of her laughter out of his mind that he misses her next words.

"...because, you know, they're really tight with who sees what," Sungyeon is saying, and Jihoon, to his horror, feels _guilty_. He feels _guilty,_ because Sungyeon is doing exactly what he wants her to do and she doesn't have a clue. She doesn't know he's using her. She's just trying to be _helpful_.

Thus begins the start of Jihoon's inevitable downfall.

\---

Days at the office come and go, as does Kyungwon's birthday, prompting the entire office to celebrate. There is an abundance of cake, confetti, and bad dance music, but Jihoon has to grudgingly agree it's sort of fun, if only for the cake. Homemade, by an enthusiastic Sungyeon and clumsy Joshua. It's sloppy, but undeniably delicious and Kyungwon eats almost half, in small slices.

Jihoon retreats to his cubicle, watching the party from afar, and something inside of him yearns for... what? Companionship? Somebody to talk to? Is he actually being _social_ for once?

"Ey, Seokmin!" Yaebin hollers, maybe a little drunk from cheap champagne, and Jihoon remembers, _oh, that's him._ "C'mon and join the party, you look so sad!" When Jihoon declines, politely, Sungyeon bounces up to him, all flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, and _pleads_.

She has amazingly convincing puppy-dog eyes. That's all he's going to say, alright?

Okay, _fine_ , _maybe_ Sungyeon is fun to be around and _maybe_ Jihoon gets into the spirit of things, but he's pretending to be perfectly friendly office worker! There's no reason to be antisocial now _._ Besides, nobody is stupid enough to refuse free cake. Not even an introvert like Jihoon. Free food is a tried-and-true method of luring introverts out of their caves, it is said.

"Are you having fun?" Sungyeon half-whispers, clutching her plastic cup and a paper plate of cheese and crackers. Jihoon shrugs, then feels strangely bad when her face falls. "Did you not like the cake? I made it myself, but... I may have got some things wrong!"

"No, no, the cake is fine," Jihoon says hastily, not quite sure why he's reassuring the one person he promised not to engage. Apparently, anything can happen when cake is involved. "It's really good. Really. You did a good job."

"Oh, good!" Sungyeon giggles cutely, and Jihoon's traitorous heart beats a little faster. Stupid nice people with stupid good cooking skills. It makes him want to squish their stupid cute cheeks, and he _doesn't like it._

"Kyungwon's opening presents!" somebody calls, and Jihoon lets himself be pulled away by Sungyeon, his cold hand in her warm one, and thinks, _this isn't so bad_.

And in that moment, he realizes one important piece of information: he is _awful_ at not getting attached.

\---

It's just when Jihoon thinks he's starting to hit his stride that Seungcheol shows up.

The department goes to a meeting that Jihoon has nothing to do with, and halfway through the lights go out. Something loud and piercing—a siren, does Pledis get these often?—starts sounding, and Jihoon instinctively reaches for his gun.

"Company protocol," somebody is saying in the background, and Sungyeon tugs him on the sleeve. Jihoon shakes her off.

"Come on. We have to evacuate." The worry in her voice almost makes Jihoon reconsider, but the next moment he's out the door, gun in his hands. Sungyeon's next words are lost on him as he advances down the halls.

Sure enough, his suspicions were right. Jihoon would feel better if they weren't.

"Jihoon," starts Seungcheol, and he's not pulling any punches. His arm is outstretched, gun steady in his hands. Jihoon sighs, drops his gun on the floor. Shooting will help nothing. He throws his hands up, palms facing outwards to show Seungcheol he's unarmed.

The man stares, disbelieving. "What are you _doing_."

"I'm telling you not to shoot," Jihoon says through gritted teeth, and Seungcheol shakes his head.

"No, I meant with your job. And that _girl_." _Sungyeon,_ his mind echoes, and Jihoon feels something very much like fear settle in his veins, chilling him from the inside out.

"What about her." Play dumb, Jihoon. Don't show weakness. Seungcheol _taught_ you how to stay in control; don't let him win.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen," laments Seungcheol, languidly drawing his gun back into its holder. "I almost don't believe my eyes."

"Seungcheol—"

"This isn't going to end well, Jihoon. You know it." Seungcheol's words are sharp, abrupt, and worst of all—true. Jihoon does, in fact, _know it_. He hasn't been in denial this entire time for nothing. Whatever game he's decided to play with Sungyeon's kind, ever-loving heart has got to end—and it won't end well.

But not by Seungcheol's hand, it won't.

"Don't stop me, Jihoon."

Jihoon plays his last card.

"You owe me, Seungcheol. Remember Manilla?" _Like I'd let you touch her._

Seuncheol pauses. Desperate, Jihoon searches for weakness, catches his eyes and immediately, determinedly grabs ahold and refuses to let go. It's the only thing he's got, and he _can't_ waste this chance. Sungyeon is _in danger_ , and there's no way he's going to let her go this way. She deserves more than this. So, so much more.

"You... would do that?" Seungcheol, shocked speechless, drops his guard and Jihoon presses, _hard_.

"Yes, I would. And I _am_. Drop the job, tell nobody, _leave her alone_."

"Okay," says Seungcheol, slowly. "Let me get this straight. You'd cash in that favor— _which you said you'd never need_ —just to save your girl?"

"She's not mine, Seungcheol."

"But you wish she was."

Jihoon hesitates. There is a heavy, sinking feeling in his chest, an aching feeling that brings a lump into his throat. It hurts. _Oh, how the mighty have fallen._

"Yes."

\---

Jihoon panics the very next day and takes a vial of poison with him to work. It sits heavy in the shirt pocket above his heart, weighing down the rest of Jihoon's thoughts with gloom.

He has to kill her. There's no way around it. This needs to end, now.

He waits until lunch. Sungyeon leaves for the bathroom, and Jihoon reaches for the bottle, hands shaking. It takes only a few drops to kill, the poison is colorless anyway, the room is dimly lit, nobody notices and yet—he's scared. Scared for her.

This is the first time he's felt this way about a victim. Most assassins get nowhere with remorse, so Jihoon threw out his wishy-washy human feelings and resolved to feel nothing. Until now, killing has been clean, quick, and detached. Jihoon took pride in what he's become—a murderer.

How can he be proud of killing _now_ , when it's Sungyeon's life on the line? He doesn't want to watch the inevitable collapse, the tremors, the life fading from her eyes—

"I'm back!" Sungyeon announces, and Jihoon freezes.

Should he switch their cups? He wants to do _something_ —reach for the cup, knock it over, make sure nobody dies—but he _can't_. He's frozen, watching her take a sip. Watching her die.

"Don't drink that—!"

He screams, but the damage is already done. He's too late. _She's going to die._

 _This isn't going to end well, Jihoon,_ Seungcheol's voice echoes inside his mind, and the world tilts on its side as Sungyeon chokes. Time slows to a crawl, Jihoon's head spins, and something inside of him snaps.

_No._

Jihoon stands up.

 _Just give me a little more time_.

"An ambulance _, please_ ," he yells, voice far from stable, but at least the words come out.

Somebody screams.

Time speeds up again as Jihoon's heartbeat spikes to amazing heights, hands sticky with sweat. He knocks over the salt shaker two times before he can unscrew it enough to pour inside his coffee, mixing it with his fork before grabbing Sungyeon's shoulders.

"I'm going to make you drink this," he says, looking into Sungyeon's dark eyes—panic flares up inside him, but he feels calm. He can do this. "I'm sorry."

He makes her swallow it, wrenches her jaws open like he's been taught and shoves it down her throat. It's disgusting, obviously, but it's going to save her life and that's what matters.

She throws up all over the table, the floor, and him, but he pays it no mind. The coffee-salt mixture worked, which means she's alive; _that's_ what matters in the end. Jihoon sheds his coat and goes to work clearing her windpipe, keeping her breathing despite the choking and shaking. It takes a bit of work, but before long she's lying on the floor, dry heaving and gasping for breath.

Jihoon clears the hair out of her face, wipes away spit and tears and tries to stay calm. He almost feels triumphant, save the fact that he _caused_ all this. Sungyeon retches once more, involuntarily doubling over, and sighs.

"Seokmin..." she murmurs weakly, and Jihoon cracks a smile to comfort her. Massaging her back muscles to make them loosen, he lets relief wash over him. He made it. He _saved_ her.

The ambulance will be here in five minutes. He should get rid of the poison.

"How?" someone whispers, horrified. Jihoon doesn't blame them; death by poisoning isn't exactly a pretty thing to watch. If he had started a moment later... He doesn't want to think about it. Sungyeon tries to swallow, but throws up instead. Jihoon runs his fingers through her hair to soothe her.

"Poisoning," he says, to explain. Sungyeon breathes out, shakily, but doesn't try to answer. Instead, she nods—a slow, small nod. Like she understands.

Jihoon wishes she actually did.

The emergency medics come in with a stretcher, and Jihoon lets himself get lost in the chaos. In the bathroom, he wipes all the fingerprints off the bottle, flushing everything left down the toilet. There are police officers on the scene; he shouldn't blow his cover now.

Sliding down the cold tiled wall, Jihoon takes a deep breath. His head pounds, he smells absolutely horrible, and his hands shake uncontrollably, but it's done. Sungyeon's alive. He failed.

He's never been happier.

\---

Sungyeon, when after days upon days in the hospital and yet more days of treatment, is finally discharged as "completely healthy," she does what any self-respecting resident sweetheart would—plan a picnic. Unfortunately, due to _reasons_ Jihoon would rather forget entirely, he's the only one who shows.

She looks so sad, sitting there by herself, so Jihoon sits a little closer than usual. To make her feel better, or something. Sungyeon waves, still her bright and happy self after weeks in and out of a hospital bed.

"Hey, Seokmin! Where is everyone...?" she looks around for the people that will likely never show—in the words of Yaebin, "we're super busy, why don't you visit her?", punctuated with winks and barely contained snickers, and so Jihoon comes alone.

"Busy," he replies shortly, playing at the grass by his feet. It's not really a lie, but he still feels on edge. She makes him nervous, and that feeling is heightened when they're all alone. And he can't just blame it on her observant nature, either. Sungyeon is actually making him nervous, in a completely human way—romantics has never been Jihoon's forte, but these feelings are hard to ignore. They're persistent, much like Sungyeon herself.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, studying her features. Her skin is a little pale, maybe, the bags under her pronounced, but otherwise, she seems healthy. It's been a month since _then_ , so she should look mostly recovered. The sooner they can all of this behind them, the better.

"Completely healed!" she announces, cheerful as always. "Speaking of which, I have to thank you!"

 _Oh. Right._ "U-um, well—" Jihoon doesn't get a chance to explain himself, because Sungyeon tackles him to the ground in a bone-crushing hug, and refuses to let go until he makes an embarrassing squeaky noise.

"Thank you, Seokmin. I probably would've died if you weren't so quick to respond. All the doctors agree." Sungyeon puts so much charm and sincerity into her words and Jihoon, not resistant to said charms, blushes deeply.

"You don't have to lay it on that thick. I didn't do much," he starts, but Sungyeon wiggles her finger at him.

"You saved my life," she states, like she's reciting a scientific law. Jihoon bites his lip while his mind says _and who tried to take it?_

Sungyeon, unknowing, reaches into her bag. She brings out sandwiches, water bottles, and—

"Is that sheet music?" Jihoon blurts out, catching sight of the familiar black notes. Just when he though Sungyeon couldn't get more perfect. She blushes, pulling out the paper and smoothing it out.

"Yeah," she admits, turning shy. "When I was little, I wanted to be a superstar—you know, a idol or something. It never panned out, obviously, but I still sing sometimes."

"Sing for me."

Jihoon should never, _ever_ talk again. Sungyeon, sweet and loving Sungyeon, laughs.

"It's been awhile, but..." Her eyes sparkle mischievously, and Jihoon gets a sinking feeling in his chest. "Only if you sing along!"

"It's a deal," he agrees, just because he likes torturing himself. As expected, Sungyeon has the voice of an angel, even if she just spent three weeks in the hospital. Jihoon tries his best to follow along, but Sungyeon's voice drowns out his own quite nicely.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea, after all. Jihoon's enjoying himself. Sungyeon is sweet, the sun is bright, what could go wrong?

Everything, apparently.

The dominos fall when his phone starts ringing. He opens his mouth, ready to excuse himself, when Sungyeon starts to speak.

"Seokmin, I—" Her voice is nervous, her eyes averted, and Jihoon is struck with the sudden feeling of _really_ not wanting to know what happens next. A quick check at his phone screen isn't helpful in the slightest.

"I need to go," he says abruptly. Sungyeon wilts. Something tightens around his throat as he stands up, fear and guilt and dread in equal amounts, a death knell for Jihoon's happy little fantasy. Sungyeon waves, sad but understanding, and the air suddenly feels cold around him.

"Sorry," Jihoon says, and he truly is. He doesn't want to leave, not really. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Later," she echoes, "yeah."

Jihoon takes one last look at the girl before reality hits him in the face.

\---

He gets a call. It's from an _unknown number,_ and when Jihoon picks up his heart drops into his stomach.

_"Information obtained. Dispose of the girl."_

"Right." He licks his lips, which have suddenly turned dry. " _Call received. Will proceed as instructed."_

The next day is nothing short of torture. Sungyeon arrives bright and early, a giant smile on her face. She even brings cookies, handing them out while everyone gives her fake apologies for ditching the two of them—all alone! Jihoon almost laughs at the irony of it all. They think they're doing Sungyeon a favor, do they?

They'd be better off if Jihoon never got into this mess. Feelings are overrated.

Nevertheless, he has a job. A job he's determined to finish. A job Sungyeon plays a very _intimate_ part in.

"Hey, Sungyeon?" She's setting the cookie platter down on the table, looking up to meet his eyes. She smiles, and Jihoon instantly feels fifty times worse. _You have to do this_ , he reminds himself. _She's going to die, whether you like it or not_.

"I thought. Since you liked, uh, that picnic we did, we could. Go on a," Jihoon swallows, steels himself against traitorous thoughts like _I don't want to kill you,_ and squeaks out, "—a date."

Sungyeon beams.

"That sounds amazing! Where?"

"U-um, the aquarium might be nice..." _It's separated from the rest of town, the parking lot is secluded, there's nobody around to hear the gunshots._

"Awesome, I've always wanted to go there. You read my mind!" _At least she'll be happy in her last moments. Until you shoot her in the face and betray everything she's ever known, that is._

Sungyeon talks for a few more minutes, but Jihoon can't really focus. He's too busy planning escape routes, writing checklists inside his mind, trying to remember important notes and facts.

While his mind is going a thousand miles an hour, the office gossip is going even faster. Within five minutes, half of the department _at least_ has come up to his cubicle to congratulate him. Jihoon nods, words going over his head. Joshua exclaims, "I hope you guys have fun!", and Yaebin nods so enthusiastically she whacks into Wonwoo's head and gives him a nosebleed.

Jihoon massages his temples, white noise whistling in ears. The world falls away, the pounding in his head growing louder and louder, and Sungyeon's smile burns into his eyelids.

He takes a deep breath. Closes his eyes. Opens them again.

He's going to miss her.

\---

The date goes amazingly, of course.

Sungyeon charmed by everything from the brightly colored goldfish to the whale skeletons mounted in the entrance, and Jihoon almost forgets the task at hand when she smiles at him from the gift shop, holding a stuffed shark plushie. He breaks down and buys it for her, calling her spoiled and teasing her about her adorable pigtails, which she proclaims are the "newest thing in the fashion world." He even lets himself enjoy her company, lets himself relax for an hour or two, before the time is up and he ruins her fun.

They end up in the main building, in front of the big tanks, when everything comes back to him and the words die in his throat. Sungyeon, bless her soul, doesn't notice, too busy watching the stingrays to tear her eyes away from them. Jihoon selfishly wishes for more time, five more minutes of unconscious bliss before closing time and the inevitable end.

Sungyeon, sensing his discomfort, somehow, squeezes his hand. Jihoon squeezes back. It's comforting, even in the face of such terrible odds. He just hopes she enjoyed these last hours of innocence.

They make their way back to the parking lot, loitering around for a bit while Sungyeon twirls around in her sundress, Jihoon's mind wandering to more _discouraging_ things. Once again, he wishes for more time, another hour, another week.

Another lifetime, perhaps. Oh, how he wishes.

Sungyeon stops by his car, secluded by trees and train tracks, separated from the rest of the lot. Jihoon feels for his gun, checks his watch. It's time.

"Sungyeon?" he asks, drinking in the sight of her, happy and healthy, and suddenly feels like crying. "I, um. Had fun today."

Sungyeon smiles, her eyes crinkling up in the corners. Jihoon's heart feels heavy, aching.

"So did I! Thank you for inviting me, Seokmin."

 _Five minutes. You have five minutes,_ he tells himself, and just like that, the clock starts ticking. A chill travels down his spine, freezing his tears into small ice shards that prick the corners of his eyes. Jihoon clears his throat. _Five minutes. Four minutes._

"Close your eyes," he says, heart pounding in his chest, throat dry as a desert. He can't believe he's doing this. "I—I have a surprise for you."

His brain is screaming— _don't do it, don't trust me, you can't you can't you can't_ —

But Sungyeon closes her eyes, and Jihoon's heart _drops_.

His hands shake as he extracts the gun strapped to the inside of his coat. He swallows roughly, trying to get rid of the dryness on his tongue and the guilt creeping up his throat. It doesn't work, but he didn't expect it to. He's ninety-nine percent sure that Sungyeon can hear the pulse that pounds away ruthlessly inside his chest and is just ignoring it because she _trusts him_. He feels like throwing up.

"I'm waiting," Sungyeon says sweetly, words piercing him like bullets. He brings the gun up to her face silently, like he's been taught, but he would like nothing more than for Sungyeon to open her eyes and _run_ , run as fast and as far as she can. Away from him, away from people who break hearts and kill innocents because it's their _job_. He's never felt so disgusted before in his _life_.

"I'm sorry." He doesn't know _how_ he says it, or why, but it suddenly seems of utmost importance that Sungyeon understands how much he regrets this—all of it. "I'm so, so, so sorry. I'm _sorry_. I'm—" Something catches in his throat and he chokes, on tears and bile and bitter, bitter guilt.

Sungyeon smiles.

"It's okay," she tells him, eyes closed, peaceful and content. "I forgive you."

And Jihoon cries.

Jihoon _cries_ , gun slipping out of his hands as his vision blurs, and when Sungyeon _finally_ opens her eyes, it is to wrap her warm, strong arms around him. Tears are dripping down his face, hot and wet and finally free after twenty long years of no emotion, no sadness, no guilt. They slide down his cheeks, bury themselves in Sungyeon's shoulder as he digs his fingers into waves of soft, chestnut hair and _cries_. Jihoon has never, ever felt so incredibly _worthless_ , and yet—

Sungyeon is still there. _She's still there_. The game is up, the cards shown, and yet she stays.

" _Why_ ," he screams, voice raw and sharp, and Sungyeon tightens her grip. "Why do you trust me? What have I _ever done_ to deserve—any of this, any of your k-kindness—" He wants to rip himself away and _run_ , away from his broken promises and all of his lies, away from Sungyeon before she leaves him, before _they_ find out everything and she dies, alone on the bloodstained ground—

"Because." To Sungyeon, everything is simple. Everything can change; everything will be okay. "Because I love you, and because I believe in you."

"You don't love _me_ ," Jihoon insists, but his voice is no longer bitter. Everything is soft; Sungyeon's steadfast smile, the way he unconsciously relaxes in her arms—even the words on her tongue, quiet and sweet and powerful.

 _She loves me_. Even after everything, she chooses to believe.

"Sungyeon," Jihoon murmurs, after years of quiet in Sungyeon's arms. She hums, lifting her head to meet his eyes. "Can you, uh, come home with me? I... have a lot of things to explain."

"I would love to," Sungyeon says, the amount of heart in those four words almost knocking Jihoon over. In the end, it only makes him blush cherry-red.

"I love you too," he mumbles, half hoping she won't hear.

She does.

\---

He makes her noodles on his measly two-burner stove, instant ramen with a bit of soy sauce and seasoning, but she smiles all the same. They eat on his couch, sink into the cushions and compete each other on how loudly they can slurp their noodles, laugh and smile and talk quietly about the future.

A warm sort of laziness spreads throughout his body, and it suddenly occurs to him that he wants to stay like this forever. Next to _her_ , where life's problems don't exist and Sungyeon is the only constant, the only thing he wants to see.

But that happy future has to wait a little longer. Jihoon has work to do.

He unpacks his briefcases—empties his medicine cabinet, shakes out all of his sheets. Lays out his collection of guns, ordering them from smallest to largest. Weapons, former tools of trade, false paperwork all go spread out on the coffee table, with some overflow onto the floor. It's staggering, how many lies he's kept in this pathetic little apartment.

When Sungyeon comes out of the bathroom, catches sight of his bag of lies, and opens her mouth to say something, Jihoon beats her to it.

"Jihoon," he says, roughly, like it doesn't matter. Sungyeon looks up, surprised. "Lee Jihoon. Former assassin. I thought you, uh, deserved to—" he falters at the look on Sungyeon's face, self-doubt swallowing his words whole. Does she even want him anymore? He's practically _shoved_ his heart into her hands, shown her every vulnerability he's kept hidden away for so long, what if she doesn't—

"Lee Jihoon."

Sungyeon says his name slowly. Softly, giving each syllable time and care, and Jihoon fights a blush for all of five seconds before he caves in and admits that his name sounds _really, really cute_ coming from her lips. Sungyeon makes everything cute, naturally, but Jihoon is going spontaneously self-combust if she goes any farther.

"I like it," she suddenly declares, cupping his face in her hands, which just makes Jihoon blush harder. His ears are bright red and he hates how flustered she makes him. "I like it. It's cute."

" _You're_ cute," he mutters, face on fire. Sungyeon giggles. "Are... you sure you want to do this?"

"Why wouldn't I?" she asks, the picture of confidence. Jihoon falls so much in love, it hurts. Sungyeon is an actual angel, he's sure.

"...I just... I'm not the easiest person to love, you know. I push people away and... what?" Sungyeon is giggling again, and it's making him self-conscious. He tries to pull away, but Sungyeon has a firm grip on his face and she looks him right in the eye.

"But I love you anyway."

She kisses him. It's perfect. Jihoon is deceased. He wouldn't mind dying like this, all things considered. He wouldn't mind _waking_ up like this, either.

The sun goes down behind the buildings, the guns sit forgotten on the dirty carpeted floor, and his small, dilapidated apartment becomes actually _cozy_. Coziness becomes a given where Sungyeon's involved, even the sad shack of a building Jihoon calls—

Home. Because home is where the heart is.

\---

Jihoon wakes up with Sungyeon curled into his chest, her heartbeat matching his own, sunlight streaming into the cracked windows. It's perfect, a piece of heaven on earth. Jihoon, for the first time in his life, can count his blessings.

Sungyeon mumbles something in her sleep, smooshing her cheek into his shoulder. Jihoon shifts until she's lying flat on the couch cushions, adorably and blissfully asleep.

After a moment, he closes his eyes again.

Life can wait a few more minutes.

**Author's Note:**

> in my last fic, I said that 4k was "a lot"... looks like i'm eating those words. 6,000. w h e w.
> 
> "as soon as this is over, i'm never ~~walking~~ writing again!"


End file.
